A Helpful Guide

If the death occurs at home, you will need to contact the family doctor who attended the deceased (or their out of hours duty system). Once a doctor has attended please contact us and we will be able to provide guidance and support and will, if so desired, attend to remove the deceased to our premises.

If the death occurs in hospital or in a nursing or residential home, the staff will call the doctor and contact the person named by the deceased as next of kin. The deceased’s doctor will normally issue the following:

• A Medical Certificate of Cause of Death (in a sealed envelope)
• A formal notice which states that the doctor has signed the medical certificate and should inform you how and where to register the death

Naturally a sudden death together with the Coroner’s involvement can be very distressing. You may have a number of questions. As trained professionals we are fully acquainted with all procedures and we are here to help and guide you. Be assured that the Coroner and their officers are working in your interest.

There are a number of reasons why a death may be referred to Her Majesty’s Coroner and under such circumstances different procedural requirements and registration procedures will be necessary. However, these should not give you any cause for alarm.

If you propose to use a new plot in a Cemetery or Churchyard we will advise you of the options available. For a burial in an existing grave in a public cemetery the Deeds of the grave may be important. The Deeds may be with the deceased’s personal papers. There will be no Deed if the grave is in a Churchyard.

Usually there will be a funeral service in a church/chapel or at the graveside.The interment can be a very emotional experience and you may wish this part to be for close family only or you may welcome the support from friends.

During the brief words of committal the coffin is gently lowered into the grave – your Funeral Director may scatter a little earth or petals. You may also wish to scatter a little earth on the coffin yourself or to place a flower in the grave. Afterwards the floral tributes will be displayed nearby for everyone to see.

We can arrange for a temporary marker to be placed on the grave whilst the necessary time elapses before a permanent memorial can be erected.

Our task is to help create a ceremony which gives full value and importance to the wishes and beliefs of the family and the deceased. You will receive advice and support through these decisions and, naturally, you have time to consider the options.

The right kind of funeral ceremony?

The funeral ceremony can take many forms, from a simple family gathering to a full service in a place of worship.Whether you are considering a religious funeral or a non-religious ceremony, we are fully experienced and will be able to guide you through the many options available and put you in touch with the appropriate officiant to discuss the ceremony.

These days the personal choice of appropriate music can be very important. We will be able to advise you on the various options available and also help with any additional equipment required. Local Crematoria have different facilities for playing pre-recorded music from your own collection or downloaded music from their own system. Please discuss this with your Funeral Director who will be aware of local arrangements.

It is essential that any recorded music is discussed and agreed at least 72 hours in advance of a funeral. This will ensure that there is plenty of time for delivery, downloading or rehearsal and may avoid disappointment if something is handed to the Funeral Director at the last minute.

Test Valley Crematorium, Basingstoke Crematorium, Wessex Vale Crematorium and Southampton Crematorium use either the Obitus or  Wesley Music Systems. Each Crematoria have their own standard list, but Obitus and Wesley Music are able to source the vast majority of recorded music, if given sufficient time and as much detail as possible..

If the service is in church we may need to obtain permission from the incumbent before certain music can be played.

You may wish to announce the death, and give details of the funeral arrangements in a local, national or international newspaper. We can assist you with this and help with the wording should you need it. We can advise you regarding instructions for flowers or charitable donations. You may also wish to consider an ‘acknowledgement’ notice at a later date.

Yes, of course. Families may like the opportunity to visit the Chapel of Rest and our staff will always discuss the matter beforehand if you are uncertain. Only occasionally may our professional opinion be that this is inadvisable. We will accompany you into the Chapel if you are concerned about this visit.

Our beautifully appointed private Chapels of Rest are open by appointment.Photographs, letters or other small personal items can be brought to the chapel and placed in the coffin but you should discuss this with your Funeral Director to ensure that there are no restrictions at the Crematorium.

It is important that instructions left by the deceased with regard to personal effects (i.e.Wedding rings) are observed. The family may also have specific wishes in this respect. If such items are to be removed your Funeral Director should be instructed by the executors and arrangements made for their collection BEFORE the funeral.

There are various options regarding the final resting place for the ashes of the deceased.

These include:

• The crematorium garden of remembrance, which can include an entry in the Book of Remembrance or other memorialisation.
• Burial in a churchyard or cemetery, either locally or nationally, in a new grave or existing family plot.
• A private scattering if there is a special place that is appropriate.
• Other options include a woodland burial or burial at sea.

Whatever your final decision you will be given time to consider all the options. You may wish us to hold the ashes until you have decided, although we reserve the right to scatter them after a year if no other instructions have been received. We have a large selection of suitable caskets and urns for the ashes, including memento and miniature urns for keepsakes. Please ask us for full details.

Memorial jewellery is also becoming a very popular way of keeping our loved ones close. Please find links to our recommended jewellery providers here.

Floral tributes can be an expression of respect and love for a life. When there are more than a small number of tributes we generally remove the message cards and place in a presentation booklet for your collection. We can assist you with ordering Floral Tributes.

Nowadays more and more families choose to have donations to a charity instead of, or in addition to, flowers. It may be that the deceased has indicated a particular charity to benefit or that the family need to consider an appropriate one. The details of the donations are often published in the newspaper announcement and are usually sent care of the Funeral Director.

Each donation will be acknowledged by us (where an address has been supplied) including the opportunity to Gift Aid. After approximately six weeks a list will be compiled for the family showing the total collected. The cheques will be sent to the nominated charity (or charities) requesting an acknowledgement be sent to the family. Find out More Info.

Yes, we can. Many people like to keep some after the service and send one to anyone who may not have been able to attend the funeral. We have a number of examples with a choice of colour, styles, motifs, typefaces or photographs for the front cover, in full colour or black and white.

It is essential to liaise with the officiant to help compile the content and sequence of the ceremony.

You can see our full list of stationary here.

Every funeral is ‘unique’ in that it reflects the wishes of the family and takes place in different circumstances. Today funerals have become much more personalised and we are accustomed to receiving what may well be considered unusual requests.

For example vintage hearses, motorcycle hearses, pipers, soloists, catering, sound systems, choirs, jazz bands, buglers, doves, recording of the service, marquees at the ceremony or graveside. Obviously this list is not exhaustive and if you are considering anything else please do not hesitate to ask.

Funerals at a distance

It may be that you wish for the funeral to take place away from the local area. Distance is no object and we will give you an estimate of the cost involved.

Burials at Sea

We have the experience and expertise to carry out this service and will assist in the liaison with the appropriate authorities in order to gain the necessary permission. As the specification is quite exact we will be able to give you an estimate of the cost involved and arrange a date and time (subject to weather conditions!).

Exhumations

Occasionally it may be necessary to move the deceased from one grave or ashes plot to another. This can be for legal reasons or because of family wishes and may sometimes involve considerable distance. We can discuss your requirements and the legal necessities should you need to consider this.

Understandably this is a difficult subject and we are often asked whether children should attend a funeral. Naturally this will depend upon the age of the child, their relationship with the person who has died, and whether they have expressed a wish to do so. Each child is different and will react as an individual. From our experience you may find the following information helpful.

It is important that a child is told as quickly as possible when there is a death in the family. The news should be given by the person closest to them in a simple and straightforward manner. Do not be afraid to use the words ‘died’ or ‘dead’ and be careful with the pictures you may create in the child’s mind – they need to agree with what the child actually knows or has seen. Encourage the child to talk about the deceased and to ask questions; answer these briefly but truthfully – you may be surprised how supportive and accepting the child can be.

To help you, we recommend a book called ‘Badger’s Parting Gifts’ (ISBN 0-00-664317-5) alternatively ‘Waterbugs & Dragonflies’ (ISBN 0-8264-7181-1) available from all good bookstores.

In addition we have a supply of ‘Remember Me Always’ (ISBN 978-0-9550757-3-5) an excellent handbook to help bereaved families care for grieving children – please feel free to ask for a copy.

Before an estate can be realised and distributed amongst the beneficiaries a Grant of Probate or Letters of Administration will be required. The simplest way to ensure this is carried out correctly is to instruct a Solicitor or Bank to act for you. This need not necessarily involve you in great expense, but it will ensure that all the correct allowances are applied for, bills are paid, returns to the relevant tax offices are dealt with promptly, and any life assurance or pension entitlements are correctly claimed.

Probate is required where the deceased HAS left a Will. The Will must be ‘proved’ before the Probate Registry of the High Court. Upon completion the executors named in the Will are able to administer the estate.

Letters of Administration are required where the deceased HAS NOT left a Will. The deceased is said to have died Intestate and the question then arises as to who should administer the estate. Here again application has to be made to the Court, usually by the next of kin, and when the Court is satisfied, they will issue a document (Letters of Administration) appointing the applicant as administrator of the estate.

Where the estate is small it is possible for the assets to be realised without making applications for a Grant. The local Probate Registry Office (found in the Telephone Directory under Probate) will advise you of the maximum asset value applicable in such circumstances.

Motor Insurance cover on a vehicle owned by the deceased ceases upon death. The insurance company should be informed immediately and arrangements made for a transfer. The vehicle registration document should be returned for transfer of ownership and the deceased’s driving licence should be returned to the DVLC.

Any current passport should be returned to The Passport Office.